Howe Lowell Can You Goell?

February 10, 2008 at 11:52 pm | Posted in Lowell, Lowell Sun | Leave a comment
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lowellwings.gifSadly, I lack the patience, will, authority, and skill to assess the wreckage of last Tuesday’s Lowell City Council meeting in this space.  I also lack a reading audience that cares.

But for the few who are interested, I direct you to Richard Howe’s spot-on blog post “Cultural Confusion.”

As Howe notes, The Lowell Sun has been slightly schizophrenic in its recent editorial coverage.*  Much as it is with its delivery service

In addition to Howe, Left in Lowell has also done a bang-up job of covering the situation.  (That’s one “bang-up” and one “spot-on” for those of you who are counting.

Our official stance on the Cultural Council brou-ha-ha is as follows: 

The editorial board of Lucy the Blog supports the arts, the cultural community of Lowell, and the ordinance as presented by City Manager Bernie Lynch. 

We will not tolerate continued opposition to this ordinance.  And councilors who fail to reverse their current course and tenor will find goose on their faces come election day.

Let it be known that Lucy the Dog was once accused of pouring coffee on an HR manager’s car and jabbing an elbow through an editor’s windshield.  And we just started doing push-ups, 10 a day.  So we are not to be fucked with.

Also, according to Google, Jim Campanini is not a very good editor.  Amen.

(*Ed. Note: In all likelihood, none of those Sun links will work by Wednesday.)

Presidential Elimination Party: Rudy Giuliani

January 20, 2008 at 7:47 pm | Posted in America, Prez Elimination Party | 3 Comments
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UPDATE: For a picture from the referenced “This Week” interview, scroll below. If you dare. Video here.

It appears our long national nightmare will continue, as Hillary Clinton won again in Nevada yesterday. Is this really happening? Kill me.

Elsewhere on the trail, I’m watching Rudy Giuliani on ABC’s “This Week,” and he appears to be wearing more makeup than he had on in this here picture ————————>

Easy on the eyeliner, Rudy. That shit makes you look more than a tad bit demonic.

So for that reason, America’s Mayor gets the gooseface.

Also because he rooted for the Red Sox in the World Series and because he’s sort of like, uh, totally insane.


PREVIOUSLY ELIMINATED: John McCain (R); Mitt Romney (R); Hillary Clinton (D); John Edwards (D)

Presidential Elimination Party: Two-fer Special

January 4, 2008 at 8:15 pm | Posted in America, Prez Elimination Party, Video | 10 Comments
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clinton.jpgWe’ve now been on holiday hiatus even longer than Howard Stern. 

And while regular blogging will resume on Monday, Lucy the Dog wanted to take a moment to thank the good people of Iowa and wish them well as they return to whatever Iowans do to occupy themselves between caucii, when they’re completely irrelevant.  Play with ethanol and Bibles, I suspect. 

But last night’s caucus brought the nation one step closer to the sweet, delicious destruction of the John Edwards and Hillary Clinton campaigns. 

And now it is up to you, New Hampshire. 

Give these two bitches the gooseface.

Continue Reading Presidential Elimination Party: Two-fer Special…

Presidential Elimination Party: Mitt Romney

December 6, 2007 at 9:15 pm | Posted in America, Prez Elimination Party | 5 Comments
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romneythumb.jpgWhat has two thumbs and is about to get the gooseface?


There’s no shortage of reasons to lop off the well-coiffed head of just-passing-through former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney. 

But there are probably others we’d send to the gallows before him, had circumstances been different.  (That’s a flock of geese heading your way, John Edwards.)

However, these are not ordinary circumstances.  Tonight, Romney will make a much-anticipated speech to profess his love for Christ, and convince God-fearing Americans that he’s righteous enough to be president, even if he wears magic skivvies. 

Despite their persistent efforts to recruit me to their ranks, I have no idea what Mormons believe or what their underpants look like.  Nor do I know what Romney believes or what his underpants look like.  Nor do I care.

Continue Reading Presidential Elimination Party: Mitt Romney…

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