Lucy the Blog

Presidential Elimination Party: Mitt Romney

What has two thumbs and is about to get the gooseface?

THIS GUY!

There’s no shortage of reasons to lop off the well-coiffed head of just-passing-through former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney. 

But there are probably others we’d send to the gallows before him, had circumstances been different.  (That’s a flock of geese heading your way, John Edwards.)

However, these are not ordinary circumstances.  Tonight, Romney will make a much-anticipated speech to profess his love for Christ, and convince God-fearing Americans that he’s righteous enough to be president, even if he wears magic skivvies. 

Despite their persistent efforts to recruit me to their ranks, I have no idea what Mormons believe or what their underpants look like.  Nor do I know what Romney believes or what his underpants look like.  Nor do I care.

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