Tags: Gooseface, Hair, Mormons wearing surgical gloves, Politics, Presidential Elimination Party, Romney
What has two thumbs and is about to get the gooseface?
There’s no shortage of reasons to lop off the well-coiffed head of just-passing-through former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney.
But there are probably others we’d send to the gallows before him, had circumstances been different. (That’s a flock of geese heading your way, John Edwards.)
However, these are not ordinary circumstances. Tonight, Romney will make a much-anticipated speech to profess his love for Christ, and convince God-fearing Americans that he’s righteous enough to be president, even if he wears magic skivvies.
Despite their persistent efforts to recruit me to their ranks, I have no idea what Mormons believe or what their underpants look like. Nor do I know what Romney believes or what his underpants look like. Nor do I care.