A Dozen Lessons from Tyra’s Vagina

November 6, 2007 at 5:22 am | Posted in TV, Video | 7 Comments

In what was heralded as a “television first,” Tyra Banks devoted her entire show today to “all the questions you wanted to know but were afraid to ask” re: the cooch.

So what did Lucy the Dog learn?  What, as Tyra says, is up down there?

1.  The clitoral hood protects the clitoris.  And it has 8,000 nerve endings.  But you don’t pee from your clitoris, girlfriend!  Nor do you pee from your vagina!  You pee from your urethra!

2.  According to Dr. Debbie Herbenick, “most women have never looked at their genitals.  Or if they’ve looked, they’ve only looked once or twice.”

3.  You should let vaginas cool for about 10 minutes before serving to guests.

4.  If you’re named Lana and you’ve never looked at your vagina, Tyra Banks will call you up on stage and make you awkwardly stand next to her while Dr. Herbenick plays with her vulva puppet.  (See video after jump.)

5.  You don’t need to douche because the vagina is “a self-cleaning oven.”

6.  When Tyra was young, her mother gave her a hand mirror and told her to go sit in her room and study her vagina.  (See video.)

7.  During the chariot scene in “Ben Hur”, keen observers will notice a small red vagina in the background.

8.  Even after all these years, it’s still physically uncomfortable for Tyra to go to the gynocologist.

9.  You should get a pap smear every year, regardless of whether or not you own a vagina.

10.  The vagina is, according to Dr. Herbenick, a “discrete” place.  And doctors are used to helping people retrieve objects from their vaginas.  So if you get a tampon or cribbage board stuck in there, don’t be embarrassed.  It happens more than you might imagine.

11.  Don’t have unprotected sex if you don’t want to have a baby.

12.  Bats always turn left when exiting a vagina.