A Dozen Lessons from Tyra’s Vagina

November 6, 2007 at 5:22 am | Posted in TV, Video | 7 Comments

tyra.jpgIn what was heralded as a “television first,” Tyra Banks devoted her entire show today to “all the questions you wanted to know but were afraid to ask” re: the cooch.

So what did Lucy the Dog learn?  What, as Tyra says, is up down there?

1.  The clitoral hood protects the clitoris.  And it has 8,000 nerve endings.  But you don’t pee from your clitoris, girlfriend!  Nor do you pee from your vagina!  You pee from your urethra!

2.  According to Dr. Debbie Herbenick, “most women have never looked at their genitals.  Or if they’ve looked, they’ve only looked once or twice.”

3.  You should let vaginas cool for about 10 minutes before serving to guests.

4.  If you’re named Lana and you’ve never looked at your vagina, Tyra Banks will call you up on stage and make you awkwardly stand next to her while Dr. Herbenick plays with her vulva puppet.  (See video after jump.)

5.  You don’t need to douche because the vagina is “a self-cleaning oven.”

6.  When Tyra was young, her mother gave her a hand mirror and told her to go sit in her room and study her vagina.  (See video.)

7.  During the chariot scene in “Ben Hur”, keen observers will notice a small red vagina in the background.

vagdiagram.jpg8.  Even after all these years, it’s still physically uncomfortable for Tyra to go to the gynocologist.

9.  You should get a pap smear every year, regardless of whether or not you own a vagina.

10.  The vagina is, according to Dr. Herbenick, a “discrete” place.  And doctors are used to helping people retrieve objects from their vaginas.  So if you get a tampon or cribbage board stuck in there, don’t be embarrassed.  It happens more than you might imagine.

11.  Don’t have unprotected sex if you don’t want to have a baby.

12.  Bats always turn left when exiting a vagina.

Advertisements

7 Comments »

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

  1. Way to go, Lucy. Now I’m gay. Great job.

  2. Was anyone else suprised to learn, courtesy that super helpful diagram, that the vagina and accompanying lady parts looks like they belong on the side of a Texas college’s football helmet? Or an album cover. Probably for some band Pax Arcana totally digs.

  3. The band is called Cervix Plural, and is hoping to book a side stage at SXSW 2010.

  4. […] Don’t Talk about Vulva Puppets Jossip (yes, again!!): Department of All Thumbs Lucy the Blog: A Dozen Lessons from Tyra’s Vagina (SUCH a funny article) From Stereohyped: Vagina Puppets Are So Much Prettier Than The Real Thing […]

  5. […] laughed.  We cried.  We learned 12 things about Tyra Banks’s vagina.  We opened foreign bureaus in Pakistan, Sweden, and Chechnya.  And we licked the interior of our […]

  6. The Emmy award nominated Tyra Banks Show will soon be heading to the east coast after spending its first two seasons out west. The Los Angeles based program will be taping season three at the Chelsea Television Studios in New York. This move is like a homecoming of sorts for the former supermodel. New York has always been considered as one of the top fashion meccas in the world. It was a frequent stomping ground of the former catwalk star during her modeling days. Banks was quoted as saying, “I’m thrilled to be moving to New York… I feel connected and completely at home.”:

    Check out the most recent post at our very own internet site
    <'http://www.caramoantourpackage.com/

  7. […] Also, there’s this: A Dozen Lessons from Tyra’s Vagina […]


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.

%d bloggers like this: