Sun columnist’s writing shows he sucks

April 24, 2009 at 8:29 pm | Posted in America, Lowell, Lowell Sun | 5 Comments
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“If you don’t know who Perez Hilton is, then I am sorry to be the one to introduce you to him.”

if i understood photoshop, there'd be white goo dripping from his lips, a la hilton. it would be hilarious!

if i understood photoshop, there'd be white goo dripping from his lips, a la hilton. it would be hilarious!

So begins the column “Gay blogger’s behavior shows his own intolerance,” written by Dan Phelps in this morning’s Lowell Sun

If you don’t know who Dan Phelps is, then I am sorry to be the one to introduce you to him.

He’s a generally harmless white nerd, who is in his late-30’s or early-40’s, were I to guess.  He’s a local columnist and not a bad one at that.  Or so I thought.  But my prior opinion could have been favorably skewed by the fact that he is neither Jim Campanini nor Lowellita.  All things are relative.

Before this morning, I’d never been moved much in any direction by Phelps.  He leans populist-conservative, I guess, and he’s quite vanilla-ish.  (I know, you’d never guess by the picture!

Today, however, I was a bit taken back by his borderline (if not outright) homophobic screed.  Picking up from where we left off…

“He [Hilton] is one of those in-your-face, flamboyangly gay pseudo-celebrities who is famous simply because he writes trash about other celebrities in an online blog.”

Let’s break this down.

(1) “one of those”:  No one wants to be “one of those” anythings; the phrase inherently conveys a sense of disdain.  I mean, really, what are you more likely to hear?  “He’s one of  those really nice guys who holds the door open and never cheats on his taxes“?  Or “He’s one of those pole-smokin’ types“?  “One of those” is rarely used in a favorable light.

(2) “in-your-face”:  Really?  He’s “in-your-face“?  I have a link to Perez Hilton on this blog, but that’s only because I’ve been too lazy to update the Blogroll feature.  I visit Perez Hilton.com once in a while, hoping to see a nip slip, but it’s not part of my regular online diet.  I find it quite easy to keep Perez Hilton out of my face.  Every time I see articles about his Miss USA scandal, I ignore them.  In fact, I wouldn’t even have read this one, except I thought the headline might be referring to Andrew Sullivan.

(3) “flamboyantly gay”:  “One of those” “flamboyant gays”!  I’ve had it with all of them!  Why can’t they just be nice, non-threatening white nerds like me and Lucy the Dog?

Continue Reading Sun columnist’s writing shows he sucks…

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