Open Letter to Nerds and/or Smart Shoppers

April 9, 2008 at 2:05 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 14 Comments
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Dear Nerd and/or Smart Shopper:

Thanks for reading Lucy the Blog.  I know it has given you so much.  And now it’s time for you to give back.

Recently my iPod died.  I really liked that iPod.  My dad gave it to me for Christmas in 2003.  I named it iSis after my favorite Bob Dylan song.  Don’t you think I’m clever?

Now I have to buy a new iPod because I really enjoyed having an iPod.  But I don’t have very much money.  So what should I do?  Should I buy my iPod at the Apple store?  Are there cheaper ways to get an iPod?  Can you buy an iPod on eBay?  Or through non-Apple vendors?  How much should I plan to spend on a new iPod? 

I see lots of the degenerate youths carrying around iPods.  They don’t seem to have much money, so I’m thinking I should also be able to secure one.  I want one that holds like 1,000 songs.  Or maybe 2,000.  And not that lame Shuffle thing where you can’t even pick what song plays.  I don’t want my iPod making decisions about how I should run my life.

Thank you in advance for your expertise.  I don’t understand technology or how to get good deals.  But I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night.  Seriously!


Lucy the Dog

PS: If any nerds and/or smart shoppers are reading this from WordPress headquarters, can you just leave the software alone?  I can’t figure out how the hell to position a picture anymore and it just put me in a foul mood. Enough tinkering around.  Let it be.  It works fine.  Fuck.



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  1. Given Apple products’ less-than-stellar durability record (you should feel lucky getting 4 years out of yours), I don’t know that I’d trust buying any on ebay or anything like that. I’ve seen them sold at like Walmart for a little less, but I don’t know if you get the year warranty that you get if you buy it straight through Apple.

    You can get Nanos (the smaller version — but they’re not shuffles) for like 200 or maybe less to hold the amount of songs you want. The bigger ones are more expensive and hold ungodly amounts of stuff.

    But, really, you should ask Pax. He has an iPhone you know!

  2. The iPod nano now comes with 4GB (1,000 songs) or 8GB (2,000) and video. You think you’re not going to watch video on it, but you are. The 4GB version is $150, which is $100 than the 2GB version I got in 2004. The 8GB version is $200.

    Both are $7 off at Best Buy, if you’re really looking for a bargain. I agree with Father Scott that you probably don’t want to get one off eBay or Craigslist or anything.

    If $150 is too much to spend on a device that packs more power than the $1 million supercomputers that launched the modern American economy a few decades ago, I suggest approaching one of those delinquents you see with an iPod and just start karate chopping them until their iPods fall off.

  3. $200 isn’t that bad. the rental fee for my high-performance old town canoe is $193 per day, and combined with the $7 best buy discount, i’ll only need to rent the thing one day to get a free ipod. now if i could just find an overgrown norweigan doofus sucker looking to row…

  4. why would you pay $200 for a nano with only 8 gigs of storage when for $250 you can get the ipod classic (much much slimmer than even they’re last generation) and get 80 gigs of storage? it makes no sense to me. besides, the nano’s so small i’m guaranteeing you would lose it in a month. other people? probably not. but you? definitely.

  5. Why would you pay $250 for an iPod classic when you can pay $300 for an iPod Touch and get Internet, email, maps, calendars, weather, and stocks with 8GB of storage? Or you could pay $500 and get the iPhone, which offers 16GB of storage and a permanent orgasm.

  6. I was just kidding, by the way. The orgasm is not permanent.

  7. Or you could buy a sony walkman for like three bucks.

  8. Thank you for all your suggestions. A couple of you noted that I was thinking too small. So I crunched some numbers and realized that thanks to the high performance of my ING savings account, I’m finally in a place where I can purchase Apple Corporation. Please keep this insider info to yourself until the sale has been cleared by the Securities and Exchanges Commission. iPods all around, on lucy the dog!

    That is all.

  9. I like my Victrola. Only drawback is my arm gets tired winding it up.

  10. “Isis” is your favorite Dylan song? Hmmm . . . not as bad as “Hurricane,” but that was not a good period. And I say that as a complete 100% Dylan fan. If I had to pick one, it would be just a bit earlier, say, “Lily, Rosemary, and the Jack of Hearts.”

  11. My favorite Dylan song is “Like a Rock.”

    Oh wait, that was Bob Seger? My bad.

  12. That’s funny because I think “Lily, Rosemary, and the Jack of Hearts” is one of the most grating annoying songs he ever recorded. It’s one of the only Dylan songs that makes me click Next. Different strokes for different folks. For the record though, I rank “Isis” that high for the live, frantic Rolling Thunder versions, not the Desire version. The Desire one’s OK but nothing special.

  13. If it was 1975, and you gave an iPod to baseball outfielder Rick Monday, he would be impressed with such a sleek product.

  14. Dude, “Isis” is not on “Desire.” It’s on the album “Not Fragile” by Bachman-Turner Overdrive.

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