A Dark Moustache Looks at 67

April 3, 2008 at 9:04 pm | Posted in Birthday, TV, Video | 1 Comment
Tags: , ,

victor.jpgToday Lucy the Blog wishes alles Gute zum Geburstag to Eric Braeden, the finest gift Germany has ever bestowed upon these United States of America.

For 28 years, Braeden has carried “The Young and the Restless” as the legendary Victor Newman, a cuthroat tycoon who wears out heavy bags, rides horses, builds empires, and bangs mad bitches.  

In addition to liasons with strippers, blind farmers, and his son’s wife, Victor’s nailed Amanda Bynes, Jennie Garth, Jane Goodall, Tony Orlando, and Doris Day, all of whom, coincidentally also celebrate birthdays today.  

Newman runs Genoa City, Wisconsin, and if you don’t believe me, ask Boston Celtics shooting guard Sam Cassell, who cut classes at FSU to catch Y&R and once told Sports Illustrated he loves nothing more than lying in bed naked, watching The Black Knight in action.  

“He’s the man. The Victor Newman. Victor is cold.”

Amen, brother.  Victor Newman will fuck you up.


1 Comment »

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  1. Dude. You have got to stop watching soap operas. I’m worried about you. For realz.

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