Presidential Elimination Party: The Exciting Conclusion, Part I

February 3, 2008 at 8:26 pm | Posted in America, Prez Elimination Party, Video | 5 Comments
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Make Tuesday super.  Vote for this man.

obamarally.jpg

Over the past weeks, we have given the gooseface to some fine Americans, including two Democrats (Hillary Clinton (D) and John Edwards (D)), three Republicans (John McCain (R), Mitt Romney (R), Rudy Giuliani (R)), and one Sanguinary Satanic Vampyre (Jonothan “The Impaler” Sharkey).

During that time, self-inflicted goosefacings have been administered by the likes of Fred Thompson, Bill Richardson, and Dennis Kucinich.  Which leaves us with Mike Huckabee, Ron Paul, and Mike Gravel. 

We have decided to dismiss those three without the formality of a goosefacing, as we still couldn’t pick Gravel out of a crowd and we’re deathly afraid of being beaten mercilessly by the allies of Huckabee (Chuck Norris, Ric Flair, Jesus Christ) and Ron Paul (Arlo Guthrie, angry white supremacists.)

That, of course, leaves us with Democrat Illinois Senator Barack Obama.  So consider this Lucy the Blog’s official endorsement.  Give us the Big O or give us death.

Students in Lucy the Dog’s College writing class learn early in the semester about the three modes of persuasion:  pathos, logos, and ethos.

Tomorrow we will present part two of our endorsement, using ethos and logos.  But today, we focus on pathos, an appeal to the audience’s emotions.  This, of course, is Obama’s forte.  So there is no shortage of ammunition.  We will simply play this video, which makes even our cynical eyes watery as we say “Yes, we can.”  (Though we don’t really believe it, and at the end of the day we know we’re doomed to end up with Hillary because people are retarded.  But don’t tell anyone.  Yes, we can!)

After the jump is the South Carolina primary victory speech in full, which Andrew Sullivan has gushingly described as his best ever.

Even if you disagree with Obama’s politics, we think you will agree that Scarlett Johansson should be in a movie where we get an extended look at her boobs.  And can you really say that about Hillary Clinton?  Exactly.

Join us tomorrow for part II of the coveted Lucy the Blog endorsement.

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5 Comments »

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  1. At least three of the people in that video aren’t citizens. So, technically, no they can’t.

  2. Yes we can look at Scarlett’s boobs.

  3. Love that she sings, too.

  4. […] Arcana doesn’t have the fortitude to do a sophisticated political exegesis like our goosefacing friends at Lucy the Blog — so instead I offer the following YouTube […]

  5. […] return to the working man’s Land of Cubicles and the subsequent drying up of the blog, we used this space to endorse the socialist, redistributing, half-breed Muslin, long-legged mack daddy, Barack Hussein […]


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