Jerry Falwell, Those Precious God Hates Fags Folk, and the City That Prays Together Revisited

May 18, 2007 at 3:19 am | Posted in America, Evil Tribune, Jesus Christ!, Lowell, Lowell Sun, Video | 2 Comments

falwell.jpgJerry Falwell is dead, and I could care less one way or another.  Just another Jesus loon, but really no worse than any of the others and perhaps even more admirable if you think about it.

Take, for instance, the Lowell City Council and the Greater Lowell Interfaith Leadership Alliance (GLILA).  At the behest of GLILA, and more importantly, the city’s lawyer, the City Council recently agreed to stop reciting the Lord’s Prayer before its meetings.  (Click here for prior coverage on Lucy the Blog.)

It doesn’t take much smarts to see that the Lord’s Prayer is a distinctly Christian prayer, and thus wholly inappropriate to kick off meetings conducting city business.  Taking things a step further, logic might also dictate that there are better places than the City Council meeting to pray out loud to any God.  And perhaps one of those pleasant moments of silence would be more appropriate.  But that’s not what we got here in Lowell.

Instead, the City Council adopted a watered down “nonsectarian” prayer, written by GLILA, which they read as follows:

“Dear God,

Today as this session opens, we pray that your presence will be before us and everyone who serves in the decision-making process of our city.  We pray for direction which will lead our city to be strong and unified.  May we continue the legacy of our founders.  May we be granted this day the wisdom to make decisions which will be for the good of the city.

We also pray for your special blessing on all those who are working to transform our city and make it a better place to live and work.


According to a Lowell Sun op-ed piece by Stephen Fisher, president of GLILA, “The use of a nonsectarian prayer welcomes everyone into full participation as citizens.”

Uh, not quite, Stephen.  To the contrary, standing up for the Lord’s Prayer or this lame-ass substitution makes me feel excluded, itchy, and isolated, since I don’t really believe in your one-size-fits-all God.  And, in fact, when you froth all over him and ask him to guide our city, it sorta creeps me out.  So count me as one citizen not feeling the full participation vibe.

Fisher also writes, “When the council prays at a meeting, it is no longer simply a personal devotional matter but a public action taken on behalf of the whole city.  [Gee, thanks!]  The use of a nonsectarian prayer welcomes everyone into full participation as citizens.”  Again, Stephen, not everyone.

While I object to the premise of the councilors praying out loud at the meeting to begin with, I also object to the mamby-pamby lunacy of this Mad-Libbed nonsectarian prayer.  If I was of any religious ilk, there’s no way I’d say it.  What’s the point of pretending that your God is some super-unifying force?  That the Christian’s God is the Jew’s God is the Hindu’s God is your momma’s God.  Has everyone lost their goddamned minds?

The fact of the matter is, if you’re a Christian who believes John 3:16 and follows the Bible to the letter of law, you believe hell is the final resting place for Jews, Muslims, and anyone else who doesn’t accept JC as their personal savior.  Don’t deny it!  That’s what it says!  Unless they’re saved, you think they’re going to hell, and apparently you think that’s appropriate.

Personally, I don’t think that’s much of a fate, and it’s a far cry from the notion of ‘let’s all hold hands, pray to whoever we want, and at the end of the day, love binds us all.’  Bullshit! 

It’s not a radical thought to say that nearly every war has had something to do with religion and the interpretation of whose God is truly The Man.  Religions are divisive, not uni…uhhhh, unityisive!  Yes, that’s it.godhatesfags.jpg

This brings us to Jerry Falwell.  At least that chubby sad man had the guts and honesty to cut through the nonsense and say what’s what.  You can be the nicest Christian in the world, but if you’re really a Christian, you think the Jews are going to hell!  You have to if you accept the Bible.  Jerry Falwell accepted it part and parcel, and he didn’t care if it made him a complete asshole.

While there’s a lot of Christians I like – or at least some, who may be disappointed in this posting – I have to say, I think most of them must be (a) a bit nuts, or (b) not quite the true believers they believe themselves to be. 

But I find something refreshing in nut-jobs like Jerry Falwell.  With him, you knew what you were getting.  Though some don’t think Falwell went far enough.

Fans of the Howard Stern show know them as the “God Hates Fags family,” but they’re formally known as the Kansas-based Westboro Baptist Church.  These are some wild dudes; they hate everyone

Their website,, features a list of those recently condemned to hell, including the West Virginia coal miners, the “degenerate” Amish school children, the Virginia Tech students, Gerald Ford, and the Pope. 

They’ve demonsted outside the funerals of American soldiers, and according to their site, will do the same at “the corpulent false prophet” Falwell‘s.

“Falwell warmly praised Christ-rejecting Jews, pedophile-condoning Catholics, money-grubbing compromisers, practicing fags like Mel White, and backsliders like Billy Graham and Robert Schuler, etc.”

One can only imagine what’s included in that etcetera.

At the Eagle-Tribune, I got a chance to interview Shirley Phelps-Roper, the church’s lawyer and the daughter of its leader, Fred Phelps.  She came just as advertised – no BS whatsoever. 

The church was planning a demonstration at a local school, where a sixth-grader had won an essay contest by writing about Ellen DeGeneres.  When I asked Shirley what we could expect to see at her demonstration, she said, with absolute sincerity:godhatesfagskids.jpg

“What you’ll see is a group of the most kindhearted people you’ll ever meet, standing on a public sidewalk with some signs that say stuff like ‘God hates fags,’ ‘God hates fag-enablers,’ ‘God hates America,’ and ‘Thank God for 9/11.'”

It’s pretty tough to top a quote like that.  But she tries in the BBC clip posted below. 

“Fags eat feces.  That’s a fact, hon.”

On some level, I appreciate Shirley’s honesty.  I know to stay away from her.  I know where she stands.  It’s written in big bubble letters on signs that she holds on the street corner. 

Jerry made his feelings pretty obvious, too, and that’s probably the best thing you could say about him.  Well, that and the fact that he gave the best deep-tissue massages.  I swear, they felt like the hands of God.

Anyway, I don’t even know where the hell I was going with all this.  The point is, you’re a bunch of willy-nilly suckas, Lowell City Council.  Either pray like you mean it or don’t pray at all.  Because this new feel-good crap is an insult to everyone involved.

RELATED:  Here’s a great clip of Christopher Hitchens going to town on Falwell from Anderson Cooper 360.  If he read this blog post out loud, it would sound a lot more intellegent.  After that is the BBC clip about the Phelps family.



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  1. […] even going to do one of these today, but I must direct your attention to this clip. I posted Hitchens on Anderson Cooper yesterday; but I should’ve posted this one. Dough Boy gets taken to the […]

  2. Kids wearing those shirtsis not cool wait till theyre old enough to understand what the shirts mean before they wear them

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