Sharon Jenkins Has Mail and John Popper Will Not Be Left Behind

March 8, 2007 at 8:33 pm | Posted in Muzak | 2 Comments

prince-silhouette.jpgThe Smoking Gun has an entertaining sampling of complaints received by the FCC following Prince’s Super Bowl halftime performance.  Here’s a few excerpts, with spellling and grammatical errors preserved:

“During Prince’s rendition of Purple Rain…there seemed to be a shadow puppet of his (penis). The sheet? that was the backdrop seemed to be (stained?) with something (semen?) My children were watching and now I have to explain to them what a wet spot is on a cum covered sheet.”

“It was obscene to show Prince, a HOMOSEXUAL person through a sheet, as to show his siluette while his guitar showed a very phallic symbol coming from his below-midriff section. I am very offended and I would preffer not to have showed it to my 4 children who love football. One of them has hoped to be a quarterback and now he will turn out gay. I am actually considering to check him for HIV. Thanks CBS for turning my son GAY.”

“It’s pathetic when you can’t keep porn out of the superbowl, just because 6 % of the population gay.”

“This image only made him look extremely large which made the rest of us feel small, and unable to perform this evening.”

I have absolutely nothing to say about this.  Except that I too feel very small and unable to perform.  Even a month later, as I write this.  Damn you, Prince.  And damn your homosexual below-midriff section.

As for next year’s Super Bowl halftime, might I recommend former fatass and Blues Traveler frontman John Popper?  Apparently he’s ready.  For absolutely anything, bitches!  Bring.  It.  On. poppermug.jpg

Popper, shown in a mug shot from a previous possession arrest, was pinched Tuesday in Washington state.  When police pulled over his car (traveling at 111 mph), they found four rifles, nine handguns, and a switchblade in hidden compartments of his Mercedes SUV.  He also had a taser gun and night vision goggles.  And, naturally, some weeeeeed.

In addition to nifty gun-hiding compartments, Popper’s Mercedes is tricked out with flashing emergency headlights, a siren, and a public address system, according to CNN.

“Popper indicated to troopers that he had installed these items in his vehicle because (in the event of a natural disaster) he didn’t want to be left behind,” (police) said in a news release.

Guns, knives, night goggles, and soft-core drugs.  That’s the way a real man welcomes the apocalypse.  You’ll probably be standing around with your dick in one hand and a roll of duct tape in the other.  Pussy.

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2 Comments »

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  1. The thing that aleways amazed us about Mr. Popper was how he could snort so much f’n blow and still be so f’n fat – seriously, this seemed unatural, as if some part of metabolism was being blocked from the gorilla fingers of flake he was frequenting, like it had been shut off to the backbone that was Michelle Pfeiffer’s Scarface, another reason to perfer Paul Muni’s but we digress…

  2. This blog is so excellent.Very nice comments.


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