Lucy the Blog

Because the Beast Master is presently confined to his courtside luxury suite, please allow Lucy the Dog to offer her uninformed analysis of Number 43’s performance after 12 minutes of basketball.

Perk is totally a beast.

And furthermore… 

Continue reading Celtics-Hawks Game 7 Update, 1st Quarter…

Any day now, I will think of something to write in this space.  I can totally feel it coming.  It’s right on the tips of my fingers.

Until then, I shall sit here deep in thought, like Hulk Hogan pondering whether or not he should touch his daughter’s rear.  (Spoiler Alert:  He should and he does.)

Dear Nerd and/or Smart Shopper:

Thanks for reading Lucy the Blog.  I know it has given you so much.  And now it’s time for you to give back.

Recently my iPod died.  I really liked that iPod.  My dad gave it to me for Christmas in 2003.  I named it iSis after my favorite Bob Dylan song.  Don’t you think I’m clever?

Now I have to buy a new iPod because I really enjoyed having an iPod.  But I don’t have very much money.  So what should I do?  Should I buy my iPod at the Apple store?  Are there cheaper ways to get an iPod?  Can you buy an iPod on eBay?  Or through non-Apple vendors?  How much should I plan to spend on a new iPod? 

I see lots of the degenerate youths carrying around iPods.  They don’t seem to have much money, so I’m thinking I should also be able to secure one.  I want one that holds like 1,000 songs.  Or maybe 2,000.  And not that lame Shuffle thing where you can’t even pick what song plays.  I don’t want my iPod making decisions about how I should run my life.

Thank you in advance for your expertise.  I don’t understand technology or how to get good deals.  But I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night.  Seriously!

Love,

Lucy the Dog

PS: If any nerds and/or smart shoppers are reading this from WordPress headquarters, can you just leave the software alone?  I can’t figure out how the hell to position a picture anymore and it just put me in a foul mood. Enough tinkering around.  Let it be.  It works fine.  Fuck.

Perhaps someone with TiVo technology can confirm this for me.  But during CBS’s astoundingly dull pregame montage for today’s Tennesse vs. San Diego game, Titans DE Kyle Vanden Bosch made the following statement:

“We’re gonna leave nothing on the field.”

That was roughly 20 minutes ago, and I’ve spent every minute since wondering if it makes any sense.  Did I hear him correctly? 

Don’t you usually give 100 percent and leave everything on the field?  Sometimes referred to as “leaving it all on the field”?

If you leave nothing, you probably didn’t try very hard.  And that’s no way to go through life, Kyle Vanden Bosch.

Mark Cuban recently called the Internet dead and boring.  It’s true.  I read it on his blog post titled, “The Internet is Dead and Boring.”

But I must take issue with Cuban.  The video below, found by Papa Beast, provides ample evidence that the Internet is alive and well and kicking much ass.  Or at least helping me waste my life.  Without the Internet, I never would have seen this.  Nor would I have seen MTV’s Tonya Cooley having soft-core porn sex.  And that, friends, would be a shame.

Perhaps Cuban meant to say that Lucy the Blog is dead and boring.  In which case, he would have a point.  Lucy the Blog is near-dead and way boring.  I’ve been trying to figure out how to resolve this.  But realistically, I know that I won’t have much blogging time in my schedule until October.

So rather than sporadically flail away, I’m taking the Lucy the Blog staff on an extended retreat to do trust falls and reevaluate our vision for the site.  We’ll shut it down for now and return on October 1, once life has settled down.

I realize this is breaking many hearts across the info superhighway.  And some may think I’m just whining.  But give me a break.  I’m a HUMAN!  All you people want is more, more, more, more!  You’re lucky I even blog for you bastards!  Leave Lucy the Dog alone.  Please!

See you in October.

This guy hates Joba Chamberlin.

But folks from that street in New York, the Bronx section, sound more likely to give him a curb job than a blow job.  Tell ‘em, Shep…